Some Kinda Faggot

Teo

You just haven’t met the RIGHT man.
If I wanted a man, I’d get myself a REAL MAN.
You know this IS the women’s room?
Police, can I see some ID?
What are you? Some kinda faggot?
We’ll see you out in the parking lot, faggot.

I live in a world that gave me two choices—
live in a female body and die at my own hands
or
begin to live as male and die at theirs.

I was always a gender transgressor—I will always be a gender transgressor.
They did not like me as a girl—they like me even less as a boy.
I am not a straight white man, my queerness invisible to the naked eye.
They tell me they might let me live if I never speak up. If I sit complicit in my silence, while they shout their misogyny, their homophobia, their transphobia—their ugly hate.

If I keep my mouth shut maybe it won’t be me to die today—maybe it will be you. Can I live with my own deafening silence?

No.

I will not live in fear. Today I will feel fear but it will not be my place of residence.

Today I may feel fear, but I will also feel joy. I will feel at home in my own skin for the first time.
Today I will not barely manage to keep the gun away from my temple—today I will no longer think of the gun.

Today I may feel fear, but I will also feel whole.

What are you? Some kinda faggot?

 Yep. Somethin’ like.

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Categories: Identity | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Some Kinda Faggot

  1. Barbara Curry

    Brilliant… I would like to repost this as part of my TDOR

  2. Shaun Kelly

    Thank you for speaking for those who are afraid too
    , for those who no longer can, and for those of us who feel that but cannot find the words…..beautiful.

  3. Love you!

  4. Alison Altman

    Thank you for speaking up. So sad you haveto deal with peoples’ ignorance. Love you!

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